Jenniferlaura's Blog

Memory: Final Cut

jenniferlaura — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 03:39:43 +0000

Here is my piece on memory. I am happy with it yet again technically it is poor. It is very personal to me as this is what my Grandma is really like.

Final Idea

jenniferlaura — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 03:23:54 +0000

My Final idea is to put together an audio piece in a poetic way, describing what life is like for Grandma and what I observe. The habits she now ‘remembers’ to do on a daily basis and how she is. One thing i know is that she is always happy no matter what and I want to explain this somehow in my piece. I would like to think that when she is sat on her own, thinking, the reason that she is happy is because she is thinking of memories which make her smile and laugh out of nowhere. This is what my final piece is and it fits with the obstruction and terribly, I have never created a purely audio piece before.

Poems

jenniferlaura — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 03:23:26 +0000

Brilliant white–a perfect mesh of purity
Unblemished in its innocence and flawless in its weave
A virgin canvas waiting for an unknown artist’s brush
A silken matte just waiting to receive.
Each breath of life brought images and particles of thought
Emblazoned on the fabric — one by one,
Events imprinted boldly there, a record made complete
The memories of time were all but done.
Unfolded-folded-used again, this mural of her life
Till creases formed and images were blurred
And the loving caress and gentle hand of a family that cared
Could not undo the damages incurred.
Used and abused till threadbare images dimmed and disappeared
The aging canvas rots and falls apart
Memories replaced by holes of nothingness and dark
Edges frayed by time destroyed the art.
A flag when worn is burned — destroyed with dignity and grace
But to the fabric of one’s memory we’re most unkind.
With images of life’s events worn down–forever lost–
Her vacant stare reflects her shredded mind.

I read this and thought that it was a beautiful poem and so true. It has made me think that I want to record an audio piece that is poetic in some ways.

Ideas:

jenniferlaura — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 03:23:07 +0000

Idea 1:

I want to get different peoples opinions on my grandmother and the memories they have of her and put them into and audio piece, this would work as audio is something i have never done before and I think it would be interesting to see what other peoples memories of her are.

Idea 2:

What her day to day life is like, I want to watch and see how she lives and how my Grandad is, then create an audio piece asking my Grandad what his memories of her are.

Idea 3:

To write about what life is like for my Grandma and now that she hasn’t got a memory, the things that she does and the way she is, again an audio piece.

Family Affected

jenniferlaura — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 03:22:54 +0000

As I want to find out what it like living with someone who has Alzheimers I told my Mum I was going to ask my Grandad. She advised me strongly against this, as although he would talk to me about it, it is not a subject that he likes talking about, so instead I asked my Mum what it was like when she saw her Mum not how she remembers her to be.

The main points that came up were:

The worry of a day when my Grandma may not recgnise her family
My grandad and how he copes on her own
How as much as it pains her to say, how annoying my Grandmother is (or the illness) as she forgets everything
How sad it is that she can no longer share her beautiful memories with people

This was very interesting, yet I know my Grandmother is always happy, or appears to be, and this is when she is in her own world, I am not sure what she is thinking about, but is a nice thought to think it is of her memories so this is what I might base my final artefact on.

Research:

jenniferlaura — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 03:22:33 +0000

Personal To Me: Alzheimer’s Disease

jenniferlaura — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 02:34:15 +0000

My Grandma was diagnosed with Alhzemiers around about 2 years ago, yet it was clear that things weren’t well with her for a few years prior to this. It started slowly, where we would play cards and she would get the game wrong, which for my Grandma who has a perfect and very shrewd mind, this was unheard of. It was soon clear that things weren’t well and she deteriorated very quickly. Now she struggles to string a sentence together, and doesn’t remember anything about her past.

As a child and into my teens, my Grandma and Grandad where always telling me stories about their past. I have a very small family and so to them this was important and also to me that I knew what sort of life they had lived. We would sit for hours and so would they when it was jus them 2 on their own talking about the laughs and situations they had been in.

Now, it is my Grandad who looks after my Grandma and I know and see that he is struggling. He tries hard to remind her and share their memories with her, yet she doesn’t seem to remember or add anything to them, this I know breaks his heart.

It may not be long now before my Grandma wakes up and doesn’t remember who her husband is or who I am and my Mum. I want to do something personal to me for my piece on memory, so my initial idea is based on my Grandma and the memories I have of her now and how they have changed.

This is a short video which explain the effects of the disease through a song. As our obstruction for this artefact is to do something we have never done before, Audio is something I think I am going to go ahead with.

Memory

jenniferlaura — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 02:18:45 +0000

The dictionary definition for the word memory is: The mental faculty of retaining and recalling past experience.

Here are my top ten memories in my life:

Reverting To Islam – I did this over Summer, and it is the biggest thing I have ever done in my life. I will always remember this day and have happy and beautiful memories from it as it has changed the way I live my life and see the world and will continue to do so.
Results day at school – This is not one of my favourite memories as in a good day as such, its more the feeling i remember, of having nothing to worry about, as what I had been working so hard for my whole life had finally paid off, and my memories are of being happy!
Kefalonia with my Mum – This was a beautiful holiday with my Mum, and as she is the most important thing to me in my life i treasure that memory.
Death of my dog - I had never luckily had to experience a death in my family or anyone close to me when I was young and so when my dog dies, a tragic death, by getting run over by a train it broke my heart, and my memory is of feeling totally devastated and upset.
America rays- This is a strange memory, I was very young around 4 and I remember going to America with my Mum and Dad, when my brother was a tiny baby. I remember going to an aquarium and touching the rays that were in a pool, although it is not shocking or exciting, it is as far as I know, one of the earliest memories I have.
Seeing someone get shot – I saw a man get shot and have never seen anything more disturbing or upsetting in my life, luckily afterwards he was ‘ok’ but I never knew that and have never ‘feared for my life’ as such before. It made me physically sick.
Birth of my sister – When my sister was born I didn’t know how to react, I was clearly aware that I would have a sister soon, yet when she was born it was a real shock, sounds strange but that’s how it was for me
My Cloggs – When I was younger, around 8, I thought that shiny bright cloggs were the coolest thing in the world! I finally got a bright lime greenpair and felt soooo cool in them, later that day though I ruined them and accidently at the park, I was so upset afterwards!
UNIVERSITY – This is self explanatory really!Gaining my independence, new course and meeting new people.
My Brother – I went with my Mum and Brother, I was aged about 6 and he must have been 4 to a fate and he had a go on a quad-bike. Although it only went half a mile and hour, he sat there looking petrified and drove straight into a hay bale, knocking over the course, it still makes me laugh today, the image of my Mum shouting at my brother to ‘look where he was going’ and crashing, childish, maybe but its a memory i will always keep and share between my brother and mum which no one can touch!

Immortal Technique

jenniferlaura — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 00:53:03 +0000

This is another person who inspired me and made me think. Although I have not used his influence in my work, he still made me think about power. He is a rapper who goes against the generic codes. He raps about the government and media and has been criticised by many people in high power for going against what America stands for, yet he makes a lot of sense and talks about how the media show us what they want to and cover up things for the government.

He is not well known and not advertised much at all, again…is this due to the media?

Power: Final Cut

jenniferlaura — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 00:48:40 +0000

Here is my final piece on power. Technically it is terrible. The meaning behind it is how powerful the weather is, yet also how powerful the Government and America are. The people who are not powerful are the people, and in New Orleans, the majority of the population is of Black origin.